I wrote this poem because of Fia, a day or two after she died.
I was upset because I have also attempted suicide and no one cared and it reinforced to me that you won’t be taken seriously unless you go through with it. I hope this doesn’t upset you, but I wanted to share it as I poured a lot of pain into it.
If my place in this life was vacant,
I lost my war to tragedy.
Would you say how much you loved me?
In a heartfelt eulogy?
Would you tell them I was loving?
Would you say you’ll miss my smile?
Would you listen to my favourite song?
And think of me a while?
Would you wish that there was something,
Something small you could’ve done,
To turn the tide in my battle,
To one I might’ve won?
The dead don’t hear your eulogy,
Nor the cries of your lament.
They forfeited their life and loves,
To be free of their torment.
The praise and adoration for one
Who’s life, they abdicated,
Reinforces to the tortured mind,
How their attempts are validated.
For only when you give in to the despair,
Does anyone truly realise the cost,
That no one cares how hard it is,
Until your life is lost.
No warm sentiment nor encouraging word,
For those who still battle inside their head,
They’ll finally understand just how hard it was…
…but only once you’re dead.